your world rejects me. your world never gave me a chance. your world gonna have to pay.
Posted on 2009.04.17 at 14:46Current Mood:
pissed off
Current Music: Inu Yasha movie
before i even get into this, let me say: WOW.
yes, this situation has almost left me completely speechless.
just a little back ground before I begin to bore you:
i am the black sheep of the black sheep in my family.
no one cares for me or likes me besides my mom and bros.
everyone else things i'm evil, into witchcraft, wear too much black, and weird.
i am what they DON'T want the other grandkids to become.
because well, i have a mind of my own, can't be brain-washed, and have a hard time controlling the mind filter thing.
with that being said: my privacy was just violated and i'm pissed off, indignant, but laughing my ass off.
so anyway, i wrote a letter to my brother Jae who is in prison.
in the letter i wrote about how ungrateful my heart-attack ridden aunt was over the time my mom invested in driving from Cape Charles, VA to Salisbury, MD. it's about a 2 hour drive going and coming. Mom and I are on limited funds. No "Thank You" was ever explicitly given that I've heard or been told about. And said aunt has been acting like an entitled bitch.
So I told my bro she was acting like an ungrateful bitch.
I then went on about my cousin E. She got a new haircut and she looks like a butch-lesbian and I wrote as much. I also called her a religious fruit-nut because on a ride to MD with her, she barely spoke to me, and when I started to play some music (nothing raunchy or profane or suggestive because she's a missionary), she pulled out her Bible and read it. A snob and a bitch. (There's bad blood between her and I already.) Oh and she thinks Twilight is a good book, which I told my bro made her look like an idiot and I warned him to never read it.
So I wrote all this in a letter. It was more profane and what-have-you, but that's just how my bro and I communicate.
So my mom folded the letter up along with her own and gave it to my cousin K to get a stamp and envelope for to mail. In the car was my ungrateful aunt, my grandmother who thinks my soul needs saving, my cousin E, and of course K.
The story goes, my letter fell open on the floor and someone picked it up, read it, and that's where the hysterics come in. Yeah, right.
Grandma calls my mom ranting about where do I get off calling E a lesbian and a bitch, how I'm destined to burn in hell, and she told E to confront me. My mom tells her how unplausible it sounds that my letter "fell open" with how it was folded and that they purposely read it, which that they had no right to do. My mom also questions why E didn't call me herself if she had an issue. (E is 21 or 22). My mom then implores her to let E confront me and see how it turns out. Grandma proclaims E is not scared of me. My mom laughs. Grandma adds she knows I'm not scared E either. (Damn fucking right).
So yeah, I'm pissed off that a personal letter was opened and read because they were pissed at me for an earlier incident. (I said the word "damn" at my cousin K, told Grans to close her ears, and she did not follow said advice, so that's not my problem) Regardless of how they felt, that letter was NONE of their business.
I find it amusing because well it is. Much worse stuff has been said to me from the 4 mentioned people who all call themselves "saved" Christians. It's funny they're grinding their teeth and wishing me to hell. How is that for brotherly love?
And E confronting me? That'll be the day. She might and I think she will because they're going to boost her up to it. But I don't care because if they think the letter was a verbal slap, what I'll deliver in person will be a verbal bitch slap. I'm tired of this bullshit.
I'm always going to stand for who I am and NOT change just because they want to, which is what this all boils down to.
They hate that I listen to rock music; mostly like white guys; had sex before I was married; am not a Christian per say; wear black; think gays deserve to adopt, marry, and fuck happily; do not want to be married; dye my hair blue, red, green; and have profane mouth (which is mostly non-exsistent around them because guess what: I RESPECT their religion and them, even if I don't agree with them. I do admit to slipping sometimes but it can't be helped.) To them I am the anti- Christian Black Woman. They want to fix me. I DON'T need to be fixed.
There's plenty of other things which they think make me the bearer of the anti-christ but to be honest, I don't even remember it.
So I guess, I'll be mailing my own letters for now on.
I'm waiting for Grandma or E to run off the mouth at me.
It will not be pretty.
Nothing can justify what they "accidentally" read.
Fuck them.
I'm out.
*holds back tears of rage and the laughter of insanity*
yes, this situation has almost left me completely speechless.
just a little back ground before I begin to bore you:
i am the black sheep of the black sheep in my family.
no one cares for me or likes me besides my mom and bros.
everyone else things i'm evil, into witchcraft, wear too much black, and weird.
i am what they DON'T want the other grandkids to become.
because well, i have a mind of my own, can't be brain-washed, and have a hard time controlling the mind filter thing.
with that being said: my privacy was just violated and i'm pissed off, indignant, but laughing my ass off.
so anyway, i wrote a letter to my brother Jae who is in prison.
in the letter i wrote about how ungrateful my heart-attack ridden aunt was over the time my mom invested in driving from Cape Charles, VA to Salisbury, MD. it's about a 2 hour drive going and coming. Mom and I are on limited funds. No "Thank You" was ever explicitly given that I've heard or been told about. And said aunt has been acting like an entitled bitch.
So I told my bro she was acting like an ungrateful bitch.
I then went on about my cousin E. She got a new haircut and she looks like a butch-lesbian and I wrote as much. I also called her a religious fruit-nut because on a ride to MD with her, she barely spoke to me, and when I started to play some music (nothing raunchy or profane or suggestive because she's a missionary), she pulled out her Bible and read it. A snob and a bitch. (There's bad blood between her and I already.) Oh and she thinks Twilight is a good book, which I told my bro made her look like an idiot and I warned him to never read it.
So I wrote all this in a letter. It was more profane and what-have-you, but that's just how my bro and I communicate.
So my mom folded the letter up along with her own and gave it to my cousin K to get a stamp and envelope for to mail. In the car was my ungrateful aunt, my grandmother who thinks my soul needs saving, my cousin E, and of course K.
The story goes, my letter fell open on the floor and someone picked it up, read it, and that's where the hysterics come in. Yeah, right.
Grandma calls my mom ranting about where do I get off calling E a lesbian and a bitch, how I'm destined to burn in hell, and she told E to confront me. My mom tells her how unplausible it sounds that my letter "fell open" with how it was folded and that they purposely read it, which that they had no right to do. My mom also questions why E didn't call me herself if she had an issue. (E is 21 or 22). My mom then implores her to let E confront me and see how it turns out. Grandma proclaims E is not scared of me. My mom laughs. Grandma adds she knows I'm not scared E either. (Damn fucking right).
So yeah, I'm pissed off that a personal letter was opened and read because they were pissed at me for an earlier incident. (I said the word "damn" at my cousin K, told Grans to close her ears, and she did not follow said advice, so that's not my problem) Regardless of how they felt, that letter was NONE of their business.
I find it amusing because well it is. Much worse stuff has been said to me from the 4 mentioned people who all call themselves "saved" Christians. It's funny they're grinding their teeth and wishing me to hell. How is that for brotherly love?
And E confronting me? That'll be the day. She might and I think she will because they're going to boost her up to it. But I don't care because if they think the letter was a verbal slap, what I'll deliver in person will be a verbal bitch slap. I'm tired of this bullshit.
I'm always going to stand for who I am and NOT change just because they want to, which is what this all boils down to.
They hate that I listen to rock music; mostly like white guys; had sex before I was married; am not a Christian per say; wear black; think gays deserve to adopt, marry, and fuck happily; do not want to be married; dye my hair blue, red, green; and have profane mouth (which is mostly non-exsistent around them because guess what: I RESPECT their religion and them, even if I don't agree with them. I do admit to slipping sometimes but it can't be helped.) To them I am the anti- Christian Black Woman. They want to fix me. I DON'T need to be fixed.
There's plenty of other things which they think make me the bearer of the anti-christ but to be honest, I don't even remember it.
So I guess, I'll be mailing my own letters for now on.
I'm waiting for Grandma or E to run off the mouth at me.
It will not be pretty.
Nothing can justify what they "accidentally" read.
Fuck them.
I'm out.
*holds back tears of rage and the laughter of insanity*